I woke up today, and realized I was beginning to live my life as a shade. A mirror of myself. It overwhelmed my senses and took hold of my hands, pulling me out of bed and threw me back into the vessel which is my body. Uncomfortable, I allowed myself to become reacquainted with the limits of breathing and feeling. Allow the soothing rhythm of my heart beat to calm my uncontrollable spirit. I wanted nothing more than to fly, become a free soul, floating over the rest of the world, until realizing that I was leaving everyone else, everyone that I cared for in my wake of destruction. You see, a soulless body functions, but is only a mirror, a shadow of what used to be. Nothing but a moving breathing talking impostor. I realized that I may be able to float above everyone in my own fantasies, but I was meant to help those around me. Give them parts of my soul to share and cherish together. I need to be present, together in this world. Not a shattered mess of broken glass. So this morning, when I woke from slumber, I pulled those pieces back together, and even though I need to be reintroduced to the beat of my heart and the sound of my voice, I will at least be me, A whole. And as i step away from the mirror and into the beautiful sun, I see them. Everyone who loves me and who has been waiting for me to regain consciousness once again.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Wake up
I woke up today, and realized I was beginning to live my life as a shade. A mirror of myself. It overwhelmed my senses and took hold of my hands, pulling me out of bed and threw me back into the vessel which is my body. Uncomfortable, I allowed myself to become reacquainted with the limits of breathing and feeling. Allow the soothing rhythm of my heart beat to calm my uncontrollable spirit. I wanted nothing more than to fly, become a free soul, floating over the rest of the world, until realizing that I was leaving everyone else, everyone that I cared for in my wake of destruction. You see, a soulless body functions, but is only a mirror, a shadow of what used to be. Nothing but a moving breathing talking impostor. I realized that I may be able to float above everyone in my own fantasies, but I was meant to help those around me. Give them parts of my soul to share and cherish together. I need to be present, together in this world. Not a shattered mess of broken glass. So this morning, when I woke from slumber, I pulled those pieces back together, and even though I need to be reintroduced to the beat of my heart and the sound of my voice, I will at least be me, A whole. And as i step away from the mirror and into the beautiful sun, I see them. Everyone who loves me and who has been waiting for me to regain consciousness once again.
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